I’ve been officially a stepmom for a year and a half, unofficially for about five years. I am not a stepparent expert, but there are a few things I’ve learned on this journey that have made a huge difference for me and my family.
- Learn to forgive yourself. Parenting is hard. Stepparenting is super hard. Women naturally have a tendency to nurture and fix what might be broken. It’s just in our nature. When we are put into situations where we can’t fix things, we tend to look at ourselves as failures. You are not failing. You are doing your best. Just like any parent would. Don’t expect to be perfect in an imperfect situation. You will automatically set yourself up for failure. This has been my biggest challenge to date. I am constantly reminding myself to relax and let the chips fall where they may.
- Focus on your marriage first. It seems simple enough, but when children are involved in the dynamics from day one it can be very easy to put them above all else. When you are the newest member to the tribe and dad’s attention has been solely devoted to his kids, it is easy to fall in line. Just remember that if you have a solid partnership with your spouse it will translate to all other aspects of your life. Happy wife. Happy life. 👍
- Take the high road. My parents always told me this as a kid if someone wasn’t playing nicely with me. I didn’t realize how much it would play into my adult life. Stay out of the drama. Don’t get sucked into all the bad parts of being a stepmom. Sometimes smiling and nodding your head will be all you can manage. It’s better to be quiet than say something you’ll regret later. Again, still something I need to remind myself of on a regular basis.
If you take the time to focus internally and take one day at a time, I promise things will get easier, better and happier. Remember this quote below always ❤