If you want to test the strength of your relationship with your spouse, have kids or do a major home renovation project, ha! But in all seriousness – tackling bathroom, kitchen, or additions to a home can put stressors on a marriage. Your house will be messy, haphazard, and you will not agree how to get the project completed (two great minds do not always think alike.)

Survival Guide Tip #1

Talk about the totality of the project before you pick up a hammer. When my husband and I agreed to renovate our main bathroom, we jumped in with both feet and started hacking away at our ugly floors, tile, and vanity without really discussing the extent of the project. I naively thought that the whole thing would take a weekend. Boy was I so very, very wrong. The project took two months start to finish. If I would have bothered to ask questions first, I would have understood how much work we really needed to accomplish. I was mad at my husband for how long things took because we didn’t communicate before starting our renovation (definitely my fault, haha.) I’ve learned with time and more projects that if I understand the timeline and what it will take to finish everything that both of us are much happier people during the process.

(Photo 1 – Our new bathroom floor in progress! My husband and I have similar taste, so we can usually agree on tile, paint, etc.)

(Photo 2 – The before and after photos! J and his dad worked so hard on the tile job and it turned out AMAZING. No more 80s bathroom!)

Survival Guide Tip #2

Learn to forgive your spouse (and yourself) for imperfections. DIY projects don’t always go exactly like the picture you pinned while scrolling through Pinterest. What matters in the end is that you’re saving money and learning new things along the way. I was super critical of my painting skills when we first started painting trim, doors and walls, but J reminded me that most people aren’t going to notice small imperfections. He is equally critical on himself and I remind him of the same thing. I am somewhat of a perfectionist so whenever we’ve had to take a project in a different direction I had to remember that it’s not my husband’s fault. Some projects are just easier to envision than recreate in real life!

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(Our master bedroom before and afters! I’ve since decorated the walls. I was super proud of myself for not giving up on this project. It took three coats of primer and two coats of paint to cover up that horrible maroon color.)

Survival Tip #3

Compromise is a beautiful thing. Just like any other obstacle in your relationship, you must learn to compromise when tackling home improvement projects. And listen to your spouse’s ideas! Along with being a perfectionist, I can have tunnel vision when I have a goal in mind (it’s a miracle my husband puts up with me sometimes.) The best thing I did while tackling our many projects was to let my husband take the reigns on our fireplace reno. I gave him a few small ideas on what I had in mind and let him run with it. His creativity really grabbed him and our fireplace is now my favorite thing in our house. If I would have micromanaged the project it might not have turned out as great as it did.

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(The finished fireplace project! No more ugly 80s blue tile! My husband found those boards from an old fence and the tile all by himself. We have since replaced the carpet too, so the whole area looks even better.)

Remember that it’s just flooring or carpet or paint colors, nothing life altering. If you can apply basic relationship skills to your home renovation projects, you’ll make it, I promise.